Tannen vs. Graff

Before taking this class, I never really thought about having an “argument”. Last semester in Rhetoric, I wrote one argument essay but we never talked about what that meant before we wrote it. When I was told to write an argument essay, I chose a topic that I had a very strong opinion about and simply found evidence that supported my opinion. After reading Debora Tannen’s short story, “Fighting for Our Lives”, I was given a new prospective on argument. I had never really given any thought to the combative language that we use when we speak and how that plays into argument. The fact that we can compare almost anything to a war and use terms such as “that’s half the battle” or “give it a shot”, is something I had never noticed and now I find very interesting. I don’t think anyone actually takes these phrases literally.  It should be noted that it definitely does get people’s attention about some type of debate, fight, or difference of opinion, if it is called a war. When Tannen talked about passive aggressiveness as a type of argument, I was intrigued. She used an example, in her writing, about a woman telling a man who was smoking in a no-smoking area the she had asthma. She simply asked him if he would mind not smoking. This gave the man his dignity to be a gentleman and choose not to smoke. She did not attack him with her words, instead, she educated him. All together, I thought Tannen gave some pretty interesting views on the subject. However, after reading Graff’s short story “Two Cheers For The Argument Culture”, I think I sided more with his thoughts about argument. Unlike Tannen, who believes that there is too much argument in the world, Graff believes there is too little. I really liked where he offered his opinion, “Who I am and what I say is defined by the fact that I am not you and have different perspectives from yours – if I did not, there would be no reason for me to write or for you to read me.” This statement is so true. I don’t think the world would function very well or be very interesting at all if we all  viewed things the same way and no one had different thoughts and opinions. Graff says that developing arguments is definitely a skill and I agree with him that students should be learning this skill in high school and college. I personally wish that I had more debates and written more argument papers in high school. This is a skill that I need to further refine. I think it would be very useful for young adults to be able to use their words, first, to be able to settle a disagreement instead of resorting to violence. The opposite seems to be more the case. This takes the instability of emotions and physical size out of the equation, making argument a more level playing ground. This is definitely food for thought.